Post by elphabacullen on Sept 25, 2011 22:43:06 GMT
Chapter 2
Alice came out of her vision shortly after half past six that same evening. She’d already spoken to Bella about the vision she’d had where Edward had proposed and Bella had accepted, and she’d politely neglected to mention that she’d also seen what had caused that proposal. Instead she was filled with joy and excitement at being the self appointed wedding planner. Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie had all tried to calm her down and remind her - in a not very polite way from Rose - that Bella was not the type of girl that seemed to be into the whole ‘Big Wedding’ thing, and that she should try and respect the girls wishes and ‘dial it down several thousand notches’.
However, when she’d had a vision of Bella and Edward telling her father about the wedding, she knew that she would be needed to cheer her best friend up. She tossed aside on of the two dozen bridal magazines that littered her bed and rushed into her closest to find some suitable clothes for sympathizing with and comforting not only her best friend, but also her future sister-in-law.
She looked at herself in her full length mirror. Her dark brown hair no longer in the ‘youthfully exuberant’ mess of spikes, was now fashioned into a more ‘mature’ looking pixie style - although that name still somewhat grated on her. With a decent amount of gel and mouse, not to mention bobby-pins and hairspray, the once untamed shaggy spikes now lay flat and tamed close to her scalp. Such tricks were necessary when she didn’t visibly age, so each year spent in the same place her and her siblings had to slightly re-invent themselves to seem a little older, a little more mature.
Of course, in only a few short months they would have to pack up and start over somewhere else, and in order to maximize their time in the new home, they’d all have to reinvent themselves as ‘younger’ versions of themselves. If she was honest, she was kind of looking forward to bringing the shaggy spikes back. As tiresome to perfect every day, it did give her the sense of having the ‘most’ hair - something that she felt she missed.
Rosalie had been trying since the mid eighties to persuade her to have extensions put in so that she could finally know what it felt like to have long lustrous hair. However Esme, with all her motherly wisdom and concern, repeatedly pointed out that they might damage her real hair, and as it doesn’t grow or have natural shedding the risk to Alice’s beautiful head of hair was not worth the risk. Esme kindly suggested wigs, but something about that just felt wrong to Alice - she already felt fake for having to pretend to be human, adding a wig to that was too much.
She looked down at her clothes and smiled. The dark skin tight jeans and converse trainers - a nod to Bella that she knew the younger girl would appreciate - and she had to admit, they were very comfortable and quite practical really. Although she would only buy the paisley pink and purple ones. A white form fitting blouse, tucked neatly into her belted jeans, and a dark purple patterned waistcoat finished the ensemble. Fashionable but casual. Bella would love it.
With a smile and a nod to her mirror image she turned an moved to her balcony and was just about to leap to the moist evening foliage below when a voice called out her name from the other side of her door.
“Alice. What are you doing?” Rosalie asked.
With a small sigh, Alice took her right foot from the balcony railings she had just been about to scramble over and walked back to her room’s door. She opened the door to see her sister looking rather pissed off.
Rosalie stood there with her arms folded, lips pursed into an annoyed line and it was all she could do to not imagine one of Rosalie’s feet tapping angrily like a tormented cat’s tail.
“What’s up Rose, I was just about to go out and see Bella, she’s going to have a rather rough evening.” Alice said, trying her best to not just close the door on her sister and head back out as she’d intended.
“Bella, Bella, bloody Bella! That’s all anyone around here talks about - and now were going to have even more of it.” She exclaimed in obvious frustration. “Stupid human.” Rosalie muttered, summing up her entire feelings on the girl.
“Rose! I won’t stand for you talking about my best friend like that! She’s going to be our sister-in-law soon it’s about time you stopped pouting and started to get to know her. You’d like her just as much as the rest of us if you’d try.” Alice said impatiently.
“I’m sick of this whole family going ga-ga over one clumsy stupid human girl. God! Even the Volturi cut her some slack! What the hell is it with that girl!”
A loud smack followed by a shocked gasp rang around the Cullen manor. In less than two seconds Emmett, Esme and Jasper appeared next to Rosalie who still stood shocked, holding her left hand to her left check, staring incomprehensibly at her sister.
“What the hell is going on here?! Did you hit my Rosie!” Emmett bellowed at Alice.
A slow yet noticeable growl started up in Jaspers chest as he pushed past Rosalie and turned to stand in front of Alice protectively.
“What has gotten into you two? I won’t tolerate this kind of behaviour. Alice? Apologize to your sister. You know we don’t hit each other in this family.” Esme said, disappointment lacing each word and tinting her eyes.
“Mom! That’s so not fair!” Alice said, unable to hold back the impulse to stamp her right foot.
“Don’t ‘Mom’ me Alice. We don’t hit each other and we don’t settle our disagreements with violence. You’re better than that, now start acting your real age and apologise to your sister!”
“No! Not until she apologises for all the nasty things she constantly says about Bella. I’m sick of her getting away acting like some spoilt brat with her nose put out. Just because she’s not the prettiest in the family anymore!”
“Hey! Don’t you talk about my Rosie like that! Or I’ll turn you into Pixie-dust, ya hear?” Emmett shouted and pointed one of his huge fingers in Alice’s face.
Jaspers growl grew stronger and he stepped up into Emmett’s threatening posture so that Emmett’s finger was poking into his chest and his body was completely shielding Alice.
“I suggest you put that finger down MaCarthy or I’ll rip it off and shove it where you keep your brains.”
“ENOUGH!” screamed Esme. “Alice, go to your room. You two Rosalie. I don’t want to see either of you tonight. Emmett, you better hide away with your wife if you know whats good for you. And Jasper don’t you dare threaten your brother! What the hell has gotten into you all!”
And with that she took an arm in each hand and virtually dragged Emmett and Rosalie away from Alice’s door, down the corridor and all but threw them into their room.
Alice huffed, still put out that she hadn’t received the apology she felt she and Bella rightfully deserved, turned around and slammed her door shut, which left Jasper looking around at the closed doors and the angry look on his adoptive mother’s face, wondering what the hell happened.
I suggest you go hunt Jasper. I don’t want you and Emmett in close proximity until you’ve calmed down.
“Yes Ma’am.” Jasper said quietly and turned to open Alice’s door. Maybe she would go hunting with him. She seemed like she needed to calm down too. However, when he opened the door, the room was already empty and on of the large clear glass balcony doors was open, letting the cooling evening air fill the room.
Jasper sighed, knowing just where his wife had gone, and resigned himself to hunting alone.
Again.
******
By the time Alice reached the Swan residence she was able to catch the last parts of the argument between Bella and Charlie. Because of the ‘incident’ at home, she had missed seeing Edward leave, their paths not crossing as Edward had to take the car home and she had simply cut through the woods.
Alice sat at the base of the tree outside Bella’s bedroom window and listened to the fight. Wincing with each hurtful word thrown between the two Swans.
‘Oh he’s gonna regret saying that. Even is Edward can be a ‘stuck up, arrogant, prissy douche’.’ Alice thought to herself. Alice wasn’t blind to the faults of her family members. She wasn’t blind to their good points either.
Edward for all his self hating, constant mind-reading and old fashioned ‘fuddy-duddy’-ness, was a caring brother, the closest person in her family (except Jazz) and the only one who could understand what it was like to live with an ability.
She never knew her mother and father, but what she’d found out about them didn’t enamour her more towards the two strangers, and so Esme and Carlisle were not just adoptive parents (the lie they told the humans) but really the only true Mother and Father she’d ever known. And she was the only one of the siblings who would constantly refer to them as such - not just when she was in trouble. Which was not often anyway, being the sweet natured, care free angel that she was.
Even she smiled a wry smile at that thought. She wasn’t as pure or as sweet as people thought. At least her petite frame enabled her to get away with a lot more than most people ever would have thought she was capable of.
Emmett. She’d never had a brother as a human, but she couldn’t think of a more perfect ‘older’ brother stereotype than Emmett. A clown, a mischievous little imp when he thought he wasn’t being watched, and the only one in his family to wear his heart on his sleeve and call a spade a spade. No matter how much he tormented you or acted like he was 7 years old, you had to love the big oaf.
Rose. She was such a conundrum. So much love and affection in her. So much joy and yet she never let it out - at least not to anyone other than her husband. And even then, with all the ‘super’ hearing in the family, it was clear to everyone that even Emmett wasn’t immune to the ‘Ice Queen Bitch from Hell’ at times. If only Rose could let herself let go of her human desires and find the joy and wonder in being an immortal vampire. All the good she could do, all the love she could give and receive. But nothing - not even all her sisterly chats could make even the tinniest crack in her cold hard shell. And it seemed to Alice that Rosalie was destined to be miserable, angry and resentful until she died her true death.
Finally her Jazz. She hadn’t thanked him for stepping up and defending her this evening - even though it had been wrong to strike her sister, he still came to her defence, no question, no hesitation.
A better man, a better husband she could never imagine. She almost pitied her mother, Rose and even Bella at never being able to know the love and security that came from a man like Jasper.
He had been through so much, so much pain, anger and fear. Too much for a lesser man whom would have been driven mad long before now. Instead, her soldier had carried on, staying strong and composed as his world was turned from one meaningless war into another. He never lost himself - although he claims it was close a few times. He never lost the capacity to love or to see the good in people. That he had to suffer feeling the emotions of those around him and yet he still never broke was a testament to his strength, his character and his goodness. Yes, she was blessed to even know such a man. Let alone be lucky enough to share his love.
A silence in the Swan household brought Alice out of her silent musings and she registered that there was only one heartbeat downstairs and another upstairs. The fight must be over and Bella must have retreated to the safety of her room. Not expecting either of the normally tacit Swans to rush to continue the ‘discussion’ she felt it was safe to go up to Bella’s room and see if her best friend was alright.
Standing slowly and brushing the moist bits of grass, leaves and mud from her jeans, Alice turned away from the house and started to ascend the tree.
Just as she reached the end of the branch that led almost directly into Bella’s room - or it would have if the usually open window wasn’t blocking her entry, she heard a man’s cough, sigh, and heavy footsteps coming up the stairs.
‘So he’s coming back for more eh? Poor guy.’ she thought. Slowly she backed away from the window like some kind of predatory animal perfectly at home balancing on all fours in a tree, back along the branch until she was consumed into the evening’s shadows, where she perched, looking for all intents and purposes like a gargoyle frozen en guard atop a european cathedral roof; eyes never blinking and ears focused solely on the small bedroom in front of her, she settled down to watch the scene before her unfold.
******
‘Oh Bella… Oh Charlie…’
She wanted to cry. She needed to cry, but by the curse of her supernatural nature she was unable to. And so all the pain, the heartbreak and the pressure that had built up behind her eyes had no where to go. No release except for the virtually silent choking sobs wracking her body.
She had lived so many lives. And yet she had never witnessed such a sight as she had just seen. The love of a father, his soul bared and open as he told his daughter all of his fears, his regrets and his pain at seeing his sole reason for living - in his words - ‘dying’ before his eyes, and at the hands of her very own brother!
The honesty and intensity of their talk hurt her as much as it lifted her spirits, that she was honoured to be able to witness such a thing. Such a gift to see, to feel such raw and unconditional love and trust between two people.
She thought that what she had with Jasper and the other members of her family was so strong, so honest, but now, still frozen motionless outside of a tiny window, of a tiny house, in a tiny town, she had witnessed the miracle of humanity and love.
And yet she was troubled. Deeply deeply troubled. For as much as what she’d seen had touched and moved her, she also too had been awakened to the reality of Charlie’s words. Was he right? What had happened to Bella? Was Charlie really right?
Instead of climbing into her room, as she’d always intended, Alice was frozen, rooted to the spot as the entire conversation played over and over in her mind. Snippets and flashes of the past two years sparked in her mind, like random scenes of a movie flickering on a cinema screen. Everything out of sequence, no sound, no context, just images - some still and some entire scenes.
The whirling history of her entire friendship with Bella, every moment kept crystal clear and perfect in her vampiric precise memory played out behind her eyes, and in counterpoint, Charlie’s words overlaid like a commentary poking holes and tearing down the then veil that she’d never even knew was there.
How could she be so blind? Bella was her friend - her only friend in her entire life, outside those of her family, and yet she’d failed her. Her whole family had failed her, maybe not all. Rosalie had never really supported her and now maybe even that maybe made sense.
Why hadn’t she seen it? She’d been around throughout virtually all of the twentieth century, she’d seen the Feminist movement struggle and grow, she’d seen the small changes human society had made in the name of equality, and yet she’d never really paid much attention to it all. That was the eternal problem of never really being a part of human society, merely playing a part and skirting at its edges.
Of course she’d known sexism, but when you’re a Vampire, such things don’t really mean anything - other than new borns, each Vampire is as relatively as strong as the other, and it’s their true age that is the defining characteristic of strength, speed and abilities, rather than gender, size or anything else so trivial.
And so Alice Cullen had taken that vampiric equality and naturally applied it to the world around her. So it was startling and humbling to see things so clearly for once from a humans perspective.
Bella’s nature of always putting others first, whilst honourable, generous and kind, was also - taken to the extreme that Bella displayed - a flaw, a fear or defense mechanism that only helped alienate and keep her from feeling apart from everything. And the more she tried to please everyone, in some misguided order to fit it, the more she was pushed outside.
“Oh my poor, poor Bella. What have we done to you…” whispered words fell from her lips, unbeknownst to her conscious mind, as even more images and more commentary played out before her.
Alice still couldn’t see why or what about her seemed to make Charlie think that she brought his daughter back to life. She tried to think about all the times she and Bella spent alone, either on sleep overs, although Bella was really too old for such things, she’d never had the chance to experience them when she was younger, and due to many reasons it was also something that Alice had never really had the opportunity to enjoy, and so both lived out their lost childhoods and reclaimed their right to do (and enjoy) that closeness that female bonding time together brought them.
She had to admit, now that her eyes were truly opened, that during those times Bella did seem… ‘lighter’ and more frequently prone to laughter or childishness fun than any other time she could recall, be it at school, at home with her family or when Edward was around.
The times when it was just her, Bella, Emmett and Jasper alone in the Cullen’s lounge playing computer games with Emmett being… well begin Emmett also brought that out of Bella. She could see more images forming of the sparkle in those dark brown eyes, the face splitting grin and the joy that seemed to pour out of her very skin when she was just having fun and enjoying their company. Finally feeling like she fit in somewhere, that she belonged and was accepted.
More images, this time of Alice watching silently from the stairs as Bella and Esme talking whilst cooking in the Cullen’s kitchen. Or when she would watch, smiling with affection, as Bella helped Esme with her garden, the two women laughing and joking, talking and learning from each other.
The look of childish delight on her face when Emmett would get over exuberant at missing his favourite little sister and spin her around and around in a bear hug.
The images changed to scenes where Bella and Edward were in the same room. Instead of joy and a twinkle of happiness in her eyes, Bella’s eyes now looked frantic, frightened and timid, like a cornered wild animal desperately seeking a way out.
Every moment that Alice had ever spent in Bella’s company played out in series in her minds eye. The fearful looks, the exquisite joy, the uncertainty and fear. Each time she recalled Bella’s face she could easily see how it could fall into one of two camps.
How could she not have seen this?
How could Edward not realise?
Was it really his fault?
Was it Bella’s?
As Alice sat frozen, clinging rigidly to the branch outside the poor girls window she asked herself the ultimate question.
What should she do about it?
And not for the first time, her visions failed her.
******
At four in the morning the Swan household was silent. Charlie had never liked the annoyance of ticking clocks, instead just relying on his trusty work issue watch, and so without any heating system or air conditioning toiling away through the night, it was completely silent.
Bella, had fallen asleep crying almost seven hours ago, and Charlie, after spending a few hours composing himself in front of some sports channel that he couldn’t even recall what game was playing, let alone who won, finally calmed down enough to head upstairs to bed. He’d paused outside his daughters room, and noticed that her bedside light was still on, risking an embarrassing confrontation he’d quietly slipped inside, and found he daughter, still dressed in the clothes she’d worn that day, laying asleep on her left side on top of the covers. She wasn’t little or light enough that he could risk lifting her and covering her, but she didn’t seem to be suffering with the cold and so after noting that she’d finally listened to him and kept her window closed, he silently made his way over to her bedside table and switched off her lamp.
He waited a few minutes until his eye’s had adjusted to the moonlight pouring it’s silvery light into her room, before he did another uncustomary thing. He leant over and kissed his daughter on the cheek before making his way back to his room, making sure not to disturb her as he closed her door behind him.
Two hours later, in the pre-dawn light, Bella’s silent guardian finally made a decision and began to move slowly towards the window.
Although Bella had started to keep the window closed, she never locked it. Figuring that any wild animals wouldn’t have the skills or knowledge to work out how to open her window, but her two favourite nighttime Vampires wouldn’t be troubled but a sliding sash window. And Alice certainly wasn’t. She lifted the window slowly, almost reverently with her right arm, her left holding on to the small window frame outside the girls room, and when enough space had been cleared, just as silently she propelled herself through, landing with cat like agility silently on the floor boards of Bella’s bedroom.
Taking the same amount of care to close the window behind her lest the poor girl get a chill - see, she had been learning about humans after all - she finally was able to take in the sleeping girl in front of her.
Her magnificent eyesight noted all the dried trails Bella’s tears had made and she noticed, that even with her eyes closed in troubled sleep, they seemed red and sore.
‘She’s not going to feel good in the morning.’ she thought to herself.
At least tomorrow, or rather today actually was a Sunday and that meant no school. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, and with a single key press its light further illuminated the room and brought the young Vampire’s face into stark relief in the otherwise dim room.
She tapped out a quick text and fired it to her mother and another to Edward, telling him that she was going to spend the morning at least with Bella and that he should stay away until Bella called him. She said it was important girl talk and hoped that that would be enough to a) put his mind at rest and b) stop him from snooping around trying to figure out why she was there and he wasn’t.
After turning off her phone, not wanting to risk being interrupted, she slipped it back into her jeans pocket and moved over to the bed.
Bella was lying on her side, facing her. A slight frown on her face, her arms wrapped around herself. Should she wake her? Or should she let her sleep?
Part of her knew that no matter what, Bella wasn’t going to awaken feeling refreshed and full of the joy’s of spring, however she knew that sleep was important for humans, and Bella did like her sleep.
However, she had spent enough time with Bella to know when the girl was having a good restful sleep, or a bad anxious sleep, and looking at the young woman in front of her Alice knew which one this was, and that maybe, if she woke her, and they spent some time talking she could get Bella to relax and maybe fall back asleep and this time get some quality rest.
With that thought in mind, she slowly climbed onto the bed next to her and laid down, propping her head up on her right arm. With her left she gently stroked the girls tear stained face and then softly said.
“Bella… Bella, wake up, it’s me, Alice. Wake up sweetheart.”
She heard Bella’s heartbeat increase, the blood flow speeding up it’s whooshing through her young veins fractions of a second before the young woman’s eyes fluttered in confusion and blurriness until she recognised the little Vampire laying only inches in front of her.
“Al… Alice? What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you silly…” Alice replied, further stroking her face.
“Oh Alice…” Bella cried hoarsely as she threw herself into her best friends arms. Alice had to roll onto her back so she could wrap both arms tightly around the warm body now clinging to her small frame.
“Sshh sweetie, it’s gonna be alright.” she cooed.
“Bu… but you don’t know…” Bella cried, looking up from where she had buried her face into her best friends chest, to look mournfully into Alice’s sad eyes.
“I do honey… I’m sorry, but I heard everything.”
“Everything? What? How long…?”
“I saw that you and Charlie were going to have the ‘Dad, I’m getting married chat’ and I came over to offer my support - I saw that it didn’t exactly go well, but when I got here, your father just came into your room. I was just outside. I’m sorry Bella. I heard everything…” Alice said with sincere regret. She felt like instead of being here to support her friend, she’d eavesdropped on what turned out to be a very personal conversation between Bella and her father. And even thought she wouldn’t wish to un-know everything that had been revealed to his that evening, she felt bad that she’d just stayed outside for so long.
“But…” Bella started, taking a look around, and noticing for the first time that her light was out and that is was starting to get light outside. “But that was hours ago. I must have fallen asleep. Where have you been?”
Alice took a moment to feel her guilt and looked up and away from her friends enquiring stare.
“I… I was outside. Thinking. I’m sorry.”
“But…thinking about what. Alice?”
“I was thinking about everything Charlie said.” Alice replied, looking back down at the girl still clinging desperately to her. In the moonlight Bella’s eyes clouded over with something.
“What…” she hesitated. “Do you think he’s right?”
Alice shifted uncomfortably underneath her. That in and of itself was strange. Vampires never got uncomfortable and they certainly didn’t fidget. Bella relaxed her grip on the tiny girl and lifted herself up onto her hands. She gasped and said.
“You do don’t you!”
Alice looked away, what could she say? When she’d made the decision to come into Bella’s room it was out of concern and love for the girl, she wanted to make her feel better, but she hadn’t thought that through. If she’d actually been thinking she’d have realised that Bella would want her to give her opinion, to either validate or invalidate all of her fathers accusations and comments.
But now that she was here, looking at the sweet dear girl poised above her, her long brown hair falling off her left shoulder allowing the moonlight in all it’s glory to highlight and frame her face that was still staring at her, waiting, just inches away, Alice realised that this moment, the next words out of her mouth would have the power to forever change her world.
For better or for worse, she didn’t know and she silently cursed her inability to see into the future to tell. She knew she relied too heavily on her visions, that she shouldn’t expect to know everything before it happened, for if she did what would be the point in living. But this time, she really didn’t want any nasty surprises coming back to bite her on the ass, but she didn’t know which choice would do that. Or even if both would ultimately do the same.
“Alice… your scaring me.” Bella said somewhat urgently.
Alice sighed. Of all the possible choices she could make she knew that there was only ever one that was ever truly possible. She had to tell Bella the truth. She’d never lied to the girl, and she’d promised that she never would. And so with a deep but unnecessary breath, she looked deeply into the molten chocolate eyes hovering anxiously above her and said that only thing she was capable of.
“Yes, Bella. I think every word of it was true.”
Alice came out of her vision shortly after half past six that same evening. She’d already spoken to Bella about the vision she’d had where Edward had proposed and Bella had accepted, and she’d politely neglected to mention that she’d also seen what had caused that proposal. Instead she was filled with joy and excitement at being the self appointed wedding planner. Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie had all tried to calm her down and remind her - in a not very polite way from Rose - that Bella was not the type of girl that seemed to be into the whole ‘Big Wedding’ thing, and that she should try and respect the girls wishes and ‘dial it down several thousand notches’.
However, when she’d had a vision of Bella and Edward telling her father about the wedding, she knew that she would be needed to cheer her best friend up. She tossed aside on of the two dozen bridal magazines that littered her bed and rushed into her closest to find some suitable clothes for sympathizing with and comforting not only her best friend, but also her future sister-in-law.
She looked at herself in her full length mirror. Her dark brown hair no longer in the ‘youthfully exuberant’ mess of spikes, was now fashioned into a more ‘mature’ looking pixie style - although that name still somewhat grated on her. With a decent amount of gel and mouse, not to mention bobby-pins and hairspray, the once untamed shaggy spikes now lay flat and tamed close to her scalp. Such tricks were necessary when she didn’t visibly age, so each year spent in the same place her and her siblings had to slightly re-invent themselves to seem a little older, a little more mature.
Of course, in only a few short months they would have to pack up and start over somewhere else, and in order to maximize their time in the new home, they’d all have to reinvent themselves as ‘younger’ versions of themselves. If she was honest, she was kind of looking forward to bringing the shaggy spikes back. As tiresome to perfect every day, it did give her the sense of having the ‘most’ hair - something that she felt she missed.
Rosalie had been trying since the mid eighties to persuade her to have extensions put in so that she could finally know what it felt like to have long lustrous hair. However Esme, with all her motherly wisdom and concern, repeatedly pointed out that they might damage her real hair, and as it doesn’t grow or have natural shedding the risk to Alice’s beautiful head of hair was not worth the risk. Esme kindly suggested wigs, but something about that just felt wrong to Alice - she already felt fake for having to pretend to be human, adding a wig to that was too much.
She looked down at her clothes and smiled. The dark skin tight jeans and converse trainers - a nod to Bella that she knew the younger girl would appreciate - and she had to admit, they were very comfortable and quite practical really. Although she would only buy the paisley pink and purple ones. A white form fitting blouse, tucked neatly into her belted jeans, and a dark purple patterned waistcoat finished the ensemble. Fashionable but casual. Bella would love it.
With a smile and a nod to her mirror image she turned an moved to her balcony and was just about to leap to the moist evening foliage below when a voice called out her name from the other side of her door.
“Alice. What are you doing?” Rosalie asked.
With a small sigh, Alice took her right foot from the balcony railings she had just been about to scramble over and walked back to her room’s door. She opened the door to see her sister looking rather pissed off.
Rosalie stood there with her arms folded, lips pursed into an annoyed line and it was all she could do to not imagine one of Rosalie’s feet tapping angrily like a tormented cat’s tail.
“What’s up Rose, I was just about to go out and see Bella, she’s going to have a rather rough evening.” Alice said, trying her best to not just close the door on her sister and head back out as she’d intended.
“Bella, Bella, bloody Bella! That’s all anyone around here talks about - and now were going to have even more of it.” She exclaimed in obvious frustration. “Stupid human.” Rosalie muttered, summing up her entire feelings on the girl.
“Rose! I won’t stand for you talking about my best friend like that! She’s going to be our sister-in-law soon it’s about time you stopped pouting and started to get to know her. You’d like her just as much as the rest of us if you’d try.” Alice said impatiently.
“I’m sick of this whole family going ga-ga over one clumsy stupid human girl. God! Even the Volturi cut her some slack! What the hell is it with that girl!”
A loud smack followed by a shocked gasp rang around the Cullen manor. In less than two seconds Emmett, Esme and Jasper appeared next to Rosalie who still stood shocked, holding her left hand to her left check, staring incomprehensibly at her sister.
“What the hell is going on here?! Did you hit my Rosie!” Emmett bellowed at Alice.
A slow yet noticeable growl started up in Jaspers chest as he pushed past Rosalie and turned to stand in front of Alice protectively.
“What has gotten into you two? I won’t tolerate this kind of behaviour. Alice? Apologize to your sister. You know we don’t hit each other in this family.” Esme said, disappointment lacing each word and tinting her eyes.
“Mom! That’s so not fair!” Alice said, unable to hold back the impulse to stamp her right foot.
“Don’t ‘Mom’ me Alice. We don’t hit each other and we don’t settle our disagreements with violence. You’re better than that, now start acting your real age and apologise to your sister!”
“No! Not until she apologises for all the nasty things she constantly says about Bella. I’m sick of her getting away acting like some spoilt brat with her nose put out. Just because she’s not the prettiest in the family anymore!”
“Hey! Don’t you talk about my Rosie like that! Or I’ll turn you into Pixie-dust, ya hear?” Emmett shouted and pointed one of his huge fingers in Alice’s face.
Jaspers growl grew stronger and he stepped up into Emmett’s threatening posture so that Emmett’s finger was poking into his chest and his body was completely shielding Alice.
“I suggest you put that finger down MaCarthy or I’ll rip it off and shove it where you keep your brains.”
“ENOUGH!” screamed Esme. “Alice, go to your room. You two Rosalie. I don’t want to see either of you tonight. Emmett, you better hide away with your wife if you know whats good for you. And Jasper don’t you dare threaten your brother! What the hell has gotten into you all!”
And with that she took an arm in each hand and virtually dragged Emmett and Rosalie away from Alice’s door, down the corridor and all but threw them into their room.
Alice huffed, still put out that she hadn’t received the apology she felt she and Bella rightfully deserved, turned around and slammed her door shut, which left Jasper looking around at the closed doors and the angry look on his adoptive mother’s face, wondering what the hell happened.
I suggest you go hunt Jasper. I don’t want you and Emmett in close proximity until you’ve calmed down.
“Yes Ma’am.” Jasper said quietly and turned to open Alice’s door. Maybe she would go hunting with him. She seemed like she needed to calm down too. However, when he opened the door, the room was already empty and on of the large clear glass balcony doors was open, letting the cooling evening air fill the room.
Jasper sighed, knowing just where his wife had gone, and resigned himself to hunting alone.
Again.
******
By the time Alice reached the Swan residence she was able to catch the last parts of the argument between Bella and Charlie. Because of the ‘incident’ at home, she had missed seeing Edward leave, their paths not crossing as Edward had to take the car home and she had simply cut through the woods.
Alice sat at the base of the tree outside Bella’s bedroom window and listened to the fight. Wincing with each hurtful word thrown between the two Swans.
‘Oh he’s gonna regret saying that. Even is Edward can be a ‘stuck up, arrogant, prissy douche’.’ Alice thought to herself. Alice wasn’t blind to the faults of her family members. She wasn’t blind to their good points either.
Edward for all his self hating, constant mind-reading and old fashioned ‘fuddy-duddy’-ness, was a caring brother, the closest person in her family (except Jazz) and the only one who could understand what it was like to live with an ability.
She never knew her mother and father, but what she’d found out about them didn’t enamour her more towards the two strangers, and so Esme and Carlisle were not just adoptive parents (the lie they told the humans) but really the only true Mother and Father she’d ever known. And she was the only one of the siblings who would constantly refer to them as such - not just when she was in trouble. Which was not often anyway, being the sweet natured, care free angel that she was.
Even she smiled a wry smile at that thought. She wasn’t as pure or as sweet as people thought. At least her petite frame enabled her to get away with a lot more than most people ever would have thought she was capable of.
Emmett. She’d never had a brother as a human, but she couldn’t think of a more perfect ‘older’ brother stereotype than Emmett. A clown, a mischievous little imp when he thought he wasn’t being watched, and the only one in his family to wear his heart on his sleeve and call a spade a spade. No matter how much he tormented you or acted like he was 7 years old, you had to love the big oaf.
Rose. She was such a conundrum. So much love and affection in her. So much joy and yet she never let it out - at least not to anyone other than her husband. And even then, with all the ‘super’ hearing in the family, it was clear to everyone that even Emmett wasn’t immune to the ‘Ice Queen Bitch from Hell’ at times. If only Rose could let herself let go of her human desires and find the joy and wonder in being an immortal vampire. All the good she could do, all the love she could give and receive. But nothing - not even all her sisterly chats could make even the tinniest crack in her cold hard shell. And it seemed to Alice that Rosalie was destined to be miserable, angry and resentful until she died her true death.
Finally her Jazz. She hadn’t thanked him for stepping up and defending her this evening - even though it had been wrong to strike her sister, he still came to her defence, no question, no hesitation.
A better man, a better husband she could never imagine. She almost pitied her mother, Rose and even Bella at never being able to know the love and security that came from a man like Jasper.
He had been through so much, so much pain, anger and fear. Too much for a lesser man whom would have been driven mad long before now. Instead, her soldier had carried on, staying strong and composed as his world was turned from one meaningless war into another. He never lost himself - although he claims it was close a few times. He never lost the capacity to love or to see the good in people. That he had to suffer feeling the emotions of those around him and yet he still never broke was a testament to his strength, his character and his goodness. Yes, she was blessed to even know such a man. Let alone be lucky enough to share his love.
A silence in the Swan household brought Alice out of her silent musings and she registered that there was only one heartbeat downstairs and another upstairs. The fight must be over and Bella must have retreated to the safety of her room. Not expecting either of the normally tacit Swans to rush to continue the ‘discussion’ she felt it was safe to go up to Bella’s room and see if her best friend was alright.
Standing slowly and brushing the moist bits of grass, leaves and mud from her jeans, Alice turned away from the house and started to ascend the tree.
Just as she reached the end of the branch that led almost directly into Bella’s room - or it would have if the usually open window wasn’t blocking her entry, she heard a man’s cough, sigh, and heavy footsteps coming up the stairs.
‘So he’s coming back for more eh? Poor guy.’ she thought. Slowly she backed away from the window like some kind of predatory animal perfectly at home balancing on all fours in a tree, back along the branch until she was consumed into the evening’s shadows, where she perched, looking for all intents and purposes like a gargoyle frozen en guard atop a european cathedral roof; eyes never blinking and ears focused solely on the small bedroom in front of her, she settled down to watch the scene before her unfold.
******
‘Oh Bella… Oh Charlie…’
She wanted to cry. She needed to cry, but by the curse of her supernatural nature she was unable to. And so all the pain, the heartbreak and the pressure that had built up behind her eyes had no where to go. No release except for the virtually silent choking sobs wracking her body.
She had lived so many lives. And yet she had never witnessed such a sight as she had just seen. The love of a father, his soul bared and open as he told his daughter all of his fears, his regrets and his pain at seeing his sole reason for living - in his words - ‘dying’ before his eyes, and at the hands of her very own brother!
The honesty and intensity of their talk hurt her as much as it lifted her spirits, that she was honoured to be able to witness such a thing. Such a gift to see, to feel such raw and unconditional love and trust between two people.
She thought that what she had with Jasper and the other members of her family was so strong, so honest, but now, still frozen motionless outside of a tiny window, of a tiny house, in a tiny town, she had witnessed the miracle of humanity and love.
And yet she was troubled. Deeply deeply troubled. For as much as what she’d seen had touched and moved her, she also too had been awakened to the reality of Charlie’s words. Was he right? What had happened to Bella? Was Charlie really right?
Instead of climbing into her room, as she’d always intended, Alice was frozen, rooted to the spot as the entire conversation played over and over in her mind. Snippets and flashes of the past two years sparked in her mind, like random scenes of a movie flickering on a cinema screen. Everything out of sequence, no sound, no context, just images - some still and some entire scenes.
The whirling history of her entire friendship with Bella, every moment kept crystal clear and perfect in her vampiric precise memory played out behind her eyes, and in counterpoint, Charlie’s words overlaid like a commentary poking holes and tearing down the then veil that she’d never even knew was there.
How could she be so blind? Bella was her friend - her only friend in her entire life, outside those of her family, and yet she’d failed her. Her whole family had failed her, maybe not all. Rosalie had never really supported her and now maybe even that maybe made sense.
Why hadn’t she seen it? She’d been around throughout virtually all of the twentieth century, she’d seen the Feminist movement struggle and grow, she’d seen the small changes human society had made in the name of equality, and yet she’d never really paid much attention to it all. That was the eternal problem of never really being a part of human society, merely playing a part and skirting at its edges.
Of course she’d known sexism, but when you’re a Vampire, such things don’t really mean anything - other than new borns, each Vampire is as relatively as strong as the other, and it’s their true age that is the defining characteristic of strength, speed and abilities, rather than gender, size or anything else so trivial.
And so Alice Cullen had taken that vampiric equality and naturally applied it to the world around her. So it was startling and humbling to see things so clearly for once from a humans perspective.
Bella’s nature of always putting others first, whilst honourable, generous and kind, was also - taken to the extreme that Bella displayed - a flaw, a fear or defense mechanism that only helped alienate and keep her from feeling apart from everything. And the more she tried to please everyone, in some misguided order to fit it, the more she was pushed outside.
“Oh my poor, poor Bella. What have we done to you…” whispered words fell from her lips, unbeknownst to her conscious mind, as even more images and more commentary played out before her.
Alice still couldn’t see why or what about her seemed to make Charlie think that she brought his daughter back to life. She tried to think about all the times she and Bella spent alone, either on sleep overs, although Bella was really too old for such things, she’d never had the chance to experience them when she was younger, and due to many reasons it was also something that Alice had never really had the opportunity to enjoy, and so both lived out their lost childhoods and reclaimed their right to do (and enjoy) that closeness that female bonding time together brought them.
She had to admit, now that her eyes were truly opened, that during those times Bella did seem… ‘lighter’ and more frequently prone to laughter or childishness fun than any other time she could recall, be it at school, at home with her family or when Edward was around.
The times when it was just her, Bella, Emmett and Jasper alone in the Cullen’s lounge playing computer games with Emmett being… well begin Emmett also brought that out of Bella. She could see more images forming of the sparkle in those dark brown eyes, the face splitting grin and the joy that seemed to pour out of her very skin when she was just having fun and enjoying their company. Finally feeling like she fit in somewhere, that she belonged and was accepted.
More images, this time of Alice watching silently from the stairs as Bella and Esme talking whilst cooking in the Cullen’s kitchen. Or when she would watch, smiling with affection, as Bella helped Esme with her garden, the two women laughing and joking, talking and learning from each other.
The look of childish delight on her face when Emmett would get over exuberant at missing his favourite little sister and spin her around and around in a bear hug.
The images changed to scenes where Bella and Edward were in the same room. Instead of joy and a twinkle of happiness in her eyes, Bella’s eyes now looked frantic, frightened and timid, like a cornered wild animal desperately seeking a way out.
Every moment that Alice had ever spent in Bella’s company played out in series in her minds eye. The fearful looks, the exquisite joy, the uncertainty and fear. Each time she recalled Bella’s face she could easily see how it could fall into one of two camps.
How could she not have seen this?
How could Edward not realise?
Was it really his fault?
Was it Bella’s?
As Alice sat frozen, clinging rigidly to the branch outside the poor girls window she asked herself the ultimate question.
What should she do about it?
And not for the first time, her visions failed her.
******
At four in the morning the Swan household was silent. Charlie had never liked the annoyance of ticking clocks, instead just relying on his trusty work issue watch, and so without any heating system or air conditioning toiling away through the night, it was completely silent.
Bella, had fallen asleep crying almost seven hours ago, and Charlie, after spending a few hours composing himself in front of some sports channel that he couldn’t even recall what game was playing, let alone who won, finally calmed down enough to head upstairs to bed. He’d paused outside his daughters room, and noticed that her bedside light was still on, risking an embarrassing confrontation he’d quietly slipped inside, and found he daughter, still dressed in the clothes she’d worn that day, laying asleep on her left side on top of the covers. She wasn’t little or light enough that he could risk lifting her and covering her, but she didn’t seem to be suffering with the cold and so after noting that she’d finally listened to him and kept her window closed, he silently made his way over to her bedside table and switched off her lamp.
He waited a few minutes until his eye’s had adjusted to the moonlight pouring it’s silvery light into her room, before he did another uncustomary thing. He leant over and kissed his daughter on the cheek before making his way back to his room, making sure not to disturb her as he closed her door behind him.
Two hours later, in the pre-dawn light, Bella’s silent guardian finally made a decision and began to move slowly towards the window.
Although Bella had started to keep the window closed, she never locked it. Figuring that any wild animals wouldn’t have the skills or knowledge to work out how to open her window, but her two favourite nighttime Vampires wouldn’t be troubled but a sliding sash window. And Alice certainly wasn’t. She lifted the window slowly, almost reverently with her right arm, her left holding on to the small window frame outside the girls room, and when enough space had been cleared, just as silently she propelled herself through, landing with cat like agility silently on the floor boards of Bella’s bedroom.
Taking the same amount of care to close the window behind her lest the poor girl get a chill - see, she had been learning about humans after all - she finally was able to take in the sleeping girl in front of her.
Her magnificent eyesight noted all the dried trails Bella’s tears had made and she noticed, that even with her eyes closed in troubled sleep, they seemed red and sore.
‘She’s not going to feel good in the morning.’ she thought to herself.
At least tomorrow, or rather today actually was a Sunday and that meant no school. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, and with a single key press its light further illuminated the room and brought the young Vampire’s face into stark relief in the otherwise dim room.
She tapped out a quick text and fired it to her mother and another to Edward, telling him that she was going to spend the morning at least with Bella and that he should stay away until Bella called him. She said it was important girl talk and hoped that that would be enough to a) put his mind at rest and b) stop him from snooping around trying to figure out why she was there and he wasn’t.
After turning off her phone, not wanting to risk being interrupted, she slipped it back into her jeans pocket and moved over to the bed.
Bella was lying on her side, facing her. A slight frown on her face, her arms wrapped around herself. Should she wake her? Or should she let her sleep?
Part of her knew that no matter what, Bella wasn’t going to awaken feeling refreshed and full of the joy’s of spring, however she knew that sleep was important for humans, and Bella did like her sleep.
However, she had spent enough time with Bella to know when the girl was having a good restful sleep, or a bad anxious sleep, and looking at the young woman in front of her Alice knew which one this was, and that maybe, if she woke her, and they spent some time talking she could get Bella to relax and maybe fall back asleep and this time get some quality rest.
With that thought in mind, she slowly climbed onto the bed next to her and laid down, propping her head up on her right arm. With her left she gently stroked the girls tear stained face and then softly said.
“Bella… Bella, wake up, it’s me, Alice. Wake up sweetheart.”
She heard Bella’s heartbeat increase, the blood flow speeding up it’s whooshing through her young veins fractions of a second before the young woman’s eyes fluttered in confusion and blurriness until she recognised the little Vampire laying only inches in front of her.
“Al… Alice? What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you silly…” Alice replied, further stroking her face.
“Oh Alice…” Bella cried hoarsely as she threw herself into her best friends arms. Alice had to roll onto her back so she could wrap both arms tightly around the warm body now clinging to her small frame.
“Sshh sweetie, it’s gonna be alright.” she cooed.
“Bu… but you don’t know…” Bella cried, looking up from where she had buried her face into her best friends chest, to look mournfully into Alice’s sad eyes.
“I do honey… I’m sorry, but I heard everything.”
“Everything? What? How long…?”
“I saw that you and Charlie were going to have the ‘Dad, I’m getting married chat’ and I came over to offer my support - I saw that it didn’t exactly go well, but when I got here, your father just came into your room. I was just outside. I’m sorry Bella. I heard everything…” Alice said with sincere regret. She felt like instead of being here to support her friend, she’d eavesdropped on what turned out to be a very personal conversation between Bella and her father. And even thought she wouldn’t wish to un-know everything that had been revealed to his that evening, she felt bad that she’d just stayed outside for so long.
“But…” Bella started, taking a look around, and noticing for the first time that her light was out and that is was starting to get light outside. “But that was hours ago. I must have fallen asleep. Where have you been?”
Alice took a moment to feel her guilt and looked up and away from her friends enquiring stare.
“I… I was outside. Thinking. I’m sorry.”
“But…thinking about what. Alice?”
“I was thinking about everything Charlie said.” Alice replied, looking back down at the girl still clinging desperately to her. In the moonlight Bella’s eyes clouded over with something.
“What…” she hesitated. “Do you think he’s right?”
Alice shifted uncomfortably underneath her. That in and of itself was strange. Vampires never got uncomfortable and they certainly didn’t fidget. Bella relaxed her grip on the tiny girl and lifted herself up onto her hands. She gasped and said.
“You do don’t you!”
Alice looked away, what could she say? When she’d made the decision to come into Bella’s room it was out of concern and love for the girl, she wanted to make her feel better, but she hadn’t thought that through. If she’d actually been thinking she’d have realised that Bella would want her to give her opinion, to either validate or invalidate all of her fathers accusations and comments.
But now that she was here, looking at the sweet dear girl poised above her, her long brown hair falling off her left shoulder allowing the moonlight in all it’s glory to highlight and frame her face that was still staring at her, waiting, just inches away, Alice realised that this moment, the next words out of her mouth would have the power to forever change her world.
For better or for worse, she didn’t know and she silently cursed her inability to see into the future to tell. She knew she relied too heavily on her visions, that she shouldn’t expect to know everything before it happened, for if she did what would be the point in living. But this time, she really didn’t want any nasty surprises coming back to bite her on the ass, but she didn’t know which choice would do that. Or even if both would ultimately do the same.
“Alice… your scaring me.” Bella said somewhat urgently.
Alice sighed. Of all the possible choices she could make she knew that there was only ever one that was ever truly possible. She had to tell Bella the truth. She’d never lied to the girl, and she’d promised that she never would. And so with a deep but unnecessary breath, she looked deeply into the molten chocolate eyes hovering anxiously above her and said that only thing she was capable of.
“Yes, Bella. I think every word of it was true.”