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Post by neroh on Feb 14, 2011 2:15:04 GMT
Hi!
I'm making an assumption here but i'm pretty sure at one point in your life or another, you've had to say 'no' to a hard thing. Or say 'no' constantly to a persistant thing.
So, my question is how *do* you go about denying someone?
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Why is Neroh asking this? People tend to develope crushes on me. A lot. Actually, not even just crushes, they latch onto me, cling at me, suffocate me like a gosh darn squid or anaconda. And lately, they just don't take 'no' for an answer. So, figured i'd ask ya'll what you think about it.
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Post by azb on Feb 14, 2011 3:33:10 GMT
Squids are gross. Be blunt. Don't give yourself, or them, any lee-way.
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Post by JocelynTorrent on Feb 14, 2011 17:28:34 GMT
If it's an advance I usually hit them with a trait of mine that they can't stand. I try to make them go away before I send them away. If not, just be straight up. Polite and kind, but straight up. If it's just a favor or something, I let them know with my body language that I'm really not up for it. Haha, I always try to make myself the victim, it seems  |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2011 20:11:50 GMT
I definitely think you need to address the situation head on. Using body language isn't always the best approach because people don't pay attention enough or, if they understand it, they are more likely to brush it aside favoring, "If she didn't want this, she would tell me." You have to be clear and be completely honest about how you feel, even if it hurts the other person.
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Post by JocelynTorrent on Feb 14, 2011 20:18:35 GMT
Yeah but sometimes its just better to be accommodating |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2011 20:19:21 GMT
Oh don't toot your own horn, JT.
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Post by JocelynTorrent on Feb 14, 2011 20:19:57 GMT
Hey if it was really a problem, I wouldn't do it. But that seems to be a very rare case. It's good to be a little selfless now and again. Especially in such a self centered world.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2011 20:33:25 GMT
Moderation is fine. Don't be concerned about yourself all the time, but don't be completely selfless all the time either. Inconveniencing yourself for the sake of others is a nice thing to do, but I think in the end being selfless shouldn't be at that great a cost to yourself. In some extenuating cases it may be, of course, but generally you should be able to look back and say it wasn't that bad. I don't think neroh's issue is not a time to be accommodating.
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Post by JocelynTorrent on Feb 14, 2011 21:34:07 GMT
Yeah, true. Everyone's got their own ways and means.
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Post by VirtualD on Feb 16, 2011 22:31:03 GMT
Off topic I do apologise but my Gawd Neroh I LOVE YOUR ICON!!!! Fuffy forever.   ;D |
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;D