Post by antonia18 on Feb 23, 2012 23:01:20 GMT
Hi everybody. This is my first Harry Potter story. And my first story in englisch (my first language is German.) English is my second language. could often happen that I swap the grammar a bit. Spelling mistakes can also occur.
So i am searching for a BETA too. To diskuss my story and that he/she can help me to make my grammar and spelling better.
The Story startes one or two weeks after the battle of the Department of Mysteries
Disclamer: I do not own any Charakter, Szene etc. from Harry Potter. I write for fun only. I gain no money from writing.
And i hope i become a lot of Review. Just to hear your options about this story and to what i can make better or ideas i can add to. so feel free to PM me if you have some ideas or suggestions.
Thx Toni
Who has the right to say what is wrong or right?
Who has the right to make decisions for other people?
Who has the right to judge without knowlege?
The only Person that can answer this questions are yourself.
At the Gates of Hogwarts
"Hermione are you sure you need this so urgently?" "Oh for god's sake bugger of Ron. I told you 3 times I need Valerian root for my Portion we will brew with Snake. It was Harry and you who worn out my stock of it. Next time buy your stuff before school starts. So please yes I need it very urgently." Without waiting for an answer Hermione stormed off. And minutes later she apparated to Diagon Ally.
"I can´t believe it. Harry?" Ron looked pleadingly at Harry. "Sorry mate but Hermione is right. I think we should apologize when she comes back." "come on, lets play a game of wizzard chess." So both walked back through the Gates of Hogwarts at the direction from Gryffindor Common Room. Just as they arrived by the Fat Lady they were interrupted by their Head of House "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley. May I ask where Hermione is? She should have been with me in the office ten minutes ago. To be late doesn´t looks like Hermione.?"
They looked both very uncomfortable at their professor. Especially since it determines a lecture why they would have let her go alone. "Oh ah you know Professor she…" began Harry and tried very hard to explain it carefully to the older women. "She is so stubborn and walked off, can´t bloody hell wait one day. No she had to buy it know and …. " Ron blathers off without break before McGonagall interrupts him "Buy what? Where and when?" Ron who realize his mistake takes two steps behind Harry by the horrify glance from his Head of House. "Just great Ron" whispers Harry to Ron.
"I haven`t time all day. Mr. Potter?" "She needed Valerian root for Portion Class next week. Hermione wanted to practice the portion but she couldn't because her last stock has been used by us. We forgot to buy enough for this year and she helped us out."
"And you two let her go…..alone? After all what happened last week at the Department of Mysteries? You do know that it is very dangerous at the moment to go to Diagon Ally mostly for Muggels?. They are lots of Death eaters. They don´t hide anymore. " Harry and Ron looked shocked at the older women and before they could answer she reaches for her wand "Expectrum Patronus" a white blue light comes out of the end of her wand and shapes into a cat "go inform Albus that Mrs. Granger is in Diagon Ally alone. He will know what to do. " with that the cat runs ahead to inform the Headmaster. "I'm going on ahead. We must lose no time. Both of you go to the common room. And we are not finished we will talk more about it when we come back. And I hope for the both of you that I fetch Mrs. Granger unharmed." Just as she has finished she gave both a ice cold glance and stormed off.
Meantime at Diagon Ally
"That is so typical Ronald. I cannot believe it. Regardless, as always, and then accuse me his fault. I wonder why I even help him at all."
Angry and irritated Hermione stormed through the streets. Not knowing about the black shadow that seems to follow her. Just before she reached the herb shop, someone grabs her firmly by the collar and before she knows what is happening to her she is in a dark deserted alley.
"Oh who do we have here? Therefore you shall be the smartest witch of the decade I ask myself what makes a Muddblood like you go here all by herself.?" Speaks a dark and at the same time seductive voice near her ear.
The cold breath on her ear lets Hermione shudder. She is pressed firmly against the wall and her attacker moves closer to her. Only now she realizes the full breasts pressing against her back.
A female Death Eater? Quickly realized what this means for her. With wide eyes, "Bellatrix Lestrange" she whispers. Mentally she slapped herself. How could she be so inconsiderate. And why her.?
"Mhmm you do know me. I´m flattered." Comes the rusty voice. Unnoticed until now Bellatrix right hand goes slowly along Hermione's side. In her hand a silver dagger. "Mhm what to do..what to do my little Muddblood. Kill you? Torture you?" she pressed the dagger harder against Hermione´s flesh. A little bit of blood runs down the dagger where Bellatrix has let it slide over Hermione's cheek. "Oh tasty" moaned she when she runs her tongue along her dagger. Suffering a whimper, which on closer listen rather sounds like a moan escapes Hermione. She cannot hide her shivers that wander down her back.
This got not unnoticed by her captor which her smile got bigger and bigger.
"Or should I keep you for myself? Maybe my own little dirty plaything. After today's success the Dark Lord will not deny me my price. Alone because you will make a great bait for the naive Harry Potter kid."
Just before Bellatrix captured Hermione
When Minerva had left the gates of Hogwarts, she immediately apparated to Diagon Ally.
With quick steps and a lively look, she went through the crowd. With the determined look of the skilled witch there was no one who dared to block her way and they went voluntarily at side. Just when she passed the shop "Gambol & Japes" and turned the corner she saw Hermione on the other end of the road. But before she could even call her she looked horrified just like someone from the dark alley moved. Seconds later Hermione vanished. Some had grasped her.
I hope it is a good start. And i hope i could wake your intrest in my story.
It was very difficult to write this because i have some trouble with the grammar. but i give my best (so please don´t be sad if the update comes a bit late )
so what do you say?
This story is on fanfiction.net too.
you can find me under
Antonia23
xD
So i am searching for a BETA too. To diskuss my story and that he/she can help me to make my grammar and spelling better.
The Story startes one or two weeks after the battle of the Department of Mysteries
Disclamer: I do not own any Charakter, Szene etc. from Harry Potter. I write for fun only. I gain no money from writing.
And i hope i become a lot of Review. Just to hear your options about this story and to what i can make better or ideas i can add to. so feel free to PM me if you have some ideas or suggestions.
Thx Toni
Who has the right to say what is wrong or right?
Who has the right to make decisions for other people?
Who has the right to judge without knowlege?
The only Person that can answer this questions are yourself.
At the Gates of Hogwarts
"Hermione are you sure you need this so urgently?" "Oh for god's sake bugger of Ron. I told you 3 times I need Valerian root for my Portion we will brew with Snake. It was Harry and you who worn out my stock of it. Next time buy your stuff before school starts. So please yes I need it very urgently." Without waiting for an answer Hermione stormed off. And minutes later she apparated to Diagon Ally.
"I can´t believe it. Harry?" Ron looked pleadingly at Harry. "Sorry mate but Hermione is right. I think we should apologize when she comes back." "come on, lets play a game of wizzard chess." So both walked back through the Gates of Hogwarts at the direction from Gryffindor Common Room. Just as they arrived by the Fat Lady they were interrupted by their Head of House "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley. May I ask where Hermione is? She should have been with me in the office ten minutes ago. To be late doesn´t looks like Hermione.?"
They looked both very uncomfortable at their professor. Especially since it determines a lecture why they would have let her go alone. "Oh ah you know Professor she…" began Harry and tried very hard to explain it carefully to the older women. "She is so stubborn and walked off, can´t bloody hell wait one day. No she had to buy it know and …. " Ron blathers off without break before McGonagall interrupts him "Buy what? Where and when?" Ron who realize his mistake takes two steps behind Harry by the horrify glance from his Head of House. "Just great Ron" whispers Harry to Ron.
"I haven`t time all day. Mr. Potter?" "She needed Valerian root for Portion Class next week. Hermione wanted to practice the portion but she couldn't because her last stock has been used by us. We forgot to buy enough for this year and she helped us out."
"And you two let her go…..alone? After all what happened last week at the Department of Mysteries? You do know that it is very dangerous at the moment to go to Diagon Ally mostly for Muggels?. They are lots of Death eaters. They don´t hide anymore. " Harry and Ron looked shocked at the older women and before they could answer she reaches for her wand "Expectrum Patronus" a white blue light comes out of the end of her wand and shapes into a cat "go inform Albus that Mrs. Granger is in Diagon Ally alone. He will know what to do. " with that the cat runs ahead to inform the Headmaster. "I'm going on ahead. We must lose no time. Both of you go to the common room. And we are not finished we will talk more about it when we come back. And I hope for the both of you that I fetch Mrs. Granger unharmed." Just as she has finished she gave both a ice cold glance and stormed off.
Meantime at Diagon Ally
"That is so typical Ronald. I cannot believe it. Regardless, as always, and then accuse me his fault. I wonder why I even help him at all."
Angry and irritated Hermione stormed through the streets. Not knowing about the black shadow that seems to follow her. Just before she reached the herb shop, someone grabs her firmly by the collar and before she knows what is happening to her she is in a dark deserted alley.
"Oh who do we have here? Therefore you shall be the smartest witch of the decade I ask myself what makes a Muddblood like you go here all by herself.?" Speaks a dark and at the same time seductive voice near her ear.
The cold breath on her ear lets Hermione shudder. She is pressed firmly against the wall and her attacker moves closer to her. Only now she realizes the full breasts pressing against her back.
A female Death Eater? Quickly realized what this means for her. With wide eyes, "Bellatrix Lestrange" she whispers. Mentally she slapped herself. How could she be so inconsiderate. And why her.?
"Mhmm you do know me. I´m flattered." Comes the rusty voice. Unnoticed until now Bellatrix right hand goes slowly along Hermione's side. In her hand a silver dagger. "Mhm what to do..what to do my little Muddblood. Kill you? Torture you?" she pressed the dagger harder against Hermione´s flesh. A little bit of blood runs down the dagger where Bellatrix has let it slide over Hermione's cheek. "Oh tasty" moaned she when she runs her tongue along her dagger. Suffering a whimper, which on closer listen rather sounds like a moan escapes Hermione. She cannot hide her shivers that wander down her back.
This got not unnoticed by her captor which her smile got bigger and bigger.
"Or should I keep you for myself? Maybe my own little dirty plaything. After today's success the Dark Lord will not deny me my price. Alone because you will make a great bait for the naive Harry Potter kid."
Just before Bellatrix captured Hermione
When Minerva had left the gates of Hogwarts, she immediately apparated to Diagon Ally.
With quick steps and a lively look, she went through the crowd. With the determined look of the skilled witch there was no one who dared to block her way and they went voluntarily at side. Just when she passed the shop "Gambol & Japes" and turned the corner she saw Hermione on the other end of the road. But before she could even call her she looked horrified just like someone from the dark alley moved. Seconds later Hermione vanished. Some had grasped her.
I hope it is a good start. And i hope i could wake your intrest in my story.
It was very difficult to write this because i have some trouble with the grammar. but i give my best (so please don´t be sad if the update comes a bit late )
so what do you say?
This story is on fanfiction.net too.
you can find me under
Antonia23
xD
